


Knock Please!

by IamSage88



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Spencer Reid, Diana was adopted, Found out in later chapters, Gen, Hurt Spencer Reid, John and Diana are siblings, Kid Dean Winchester, Kid Fic, Kid Sam Winchester, Kid Spencer Reid, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Spencer Reid, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Spencer Reid, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sad Spencer Reid, Sam and Dean are Spencers cousins, Self-Harm, Spencer Reid Whump, Spencer is two years younger then he is in the actual series, William Reid died because... reasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-01-16 08:21:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12338979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IamSage88/pseuds/IamSage88
Summary: After the death of William Reid, John and his boys move in  with his sister Diana.





	1. Pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some talk about the American school year system. If you don't understand it, I'll explain the age groups here. The ages are just where they're usually are. This does not include kids who have been held back or brought forward.
> 
> Kindergarten- 5 to 6  
> First Grade- 6 to 7  
> Second Grade- 7 to 8  
> Third Grade- 8 to 9  
> Fourth Grade- 9 to 10  
> Fifth Grade- 10 to 11  
> Sixth Grade- 11 to 12  
> Seventh Grade- 12 to 13  
> Eighth Grade- 13 to 14  
> Ninth Grade- 14 to 15  
> Tenth Grade- 15 to 16  
> Eleventh Grade- 16 to 17  
> Twelfth Grade- 17 to 18

I watch my pillow. I more so watch tears fall onto my pillow. Dad didn't want thing for us. For us to cry everyone night for him. Or may he did. He dies in a mugging and is forgotten to everyone but mom and I. 

My uncle and his boys moved in,but they'll probably be gone in three months tops. Suddenly, the other seven year old in the house comes into my room. "What do you need Sam?" I ask, hiding my face in my pillow.

He crawls on the bed and hugs me. "It's okay to cry Spencer." Sam's not to much taller then I am, but he is much more athletic.

"Got everything ready for school tomorrow?" I ask, changing the subject. Dean and I will be in the same class, leaving Sam alone. He nods to answer my question.

He lets go and starts to leave. "Pizza will be here in ten minutes," Sam says. He walks the rest of the way out and shuts the door.

After what feels like ages, my eyes are much less red and puffy. I take two deep breaths and leave my safe haven as to not starve. I put a piece of cheese pizza on my paper plate and start to eat.

Dean watches me for a moment. "So, anyone cool in our grade?" he asks. I think for a moment and nod. Dean stares at me, waiting for me to say something else. "Who's the cool kids?"

"Oh! Mark Olson, Jessie Tucker, and Aiden Erickson. Those are the boys. Zoey Price, Kelsey Reece, and Sara Smith. They're very pretty. You're going to like fifth grade. You're the type of person everyone wants to be nice to and be friends with." I finish my pizza before throwing away my plate.

I wait for them to finish before we all walk back to my room. Well, for the time being I suppose it's our room. We all crawl into the queen sized bed. They cuddle together and hug my pillow. I sigh until I feel someone touch me. Hug me? I smile and hug back. I soon realize it Sam hugging me. "Goodnight," I whisper, falling asleep.


	2. Girls and Boys

John drops us off at the school. I walk Dean and Sam to Sam's class. Dean gives him a hug and a quick "See ya Sammy," before we start head to our class.

I sit in my usually seat and Dean sits next to Kelsey. I roll my eyes and pull out book 2 in the Narnia seires. I finished book one friday in three hours! I'm getting faster at reading.

"Hello class! We have a new student today. Would you please stand up and introduce yourself?" Mrs. Franklin asks Dean.

He nods and stands up. "Sup. I'm Dean Winchester."

"Would you tell us something about yourself, Dean?"

Dean nods and thinks for a moment. "I have a younger brother and I'm probably the coolest person you guys will ever meet," he says. I snort, making Dean (and other kids for some reason) glare at me.

"Spencer, it's not nice to laugh at others. Apologize to Dean," Mrs. Franklin demands. Before explaining we're cousin or even get a chance to speak, Dean laughs.

"It's fine ma'am. I'm surprised no one else laughed, really," Dean says. Plus, I know Dean's going to do something at home.

After four morning classes, we finally have lunch. I go and sit at a table by myself and watch as the popular girls try to make Dean sit with them. He almost says yes until he sees me sitting alone. Dean says something to the girls before coming over to sit with me. "What are you doing? I thought you wanted to sit with popular people or something?" I ask.

Dean laughs and ruffles my hair. "You my baby cousin. I'm not gonna leave you hanging," he explains. I smile before feeling offended. I'm not a baby! Dean laughs at how annoyed I am.

Minutes later, Mark and Jessie come over. "Hey there Winchester. Want to come hang out?" Mark asks. Dean looks at me and I mouth the word go. I couldn't help but smile at the grin on Dean's face. He quickly jump up and leaves with the two boys.

Moments later, I feel water get dumped on me. I look up and see Aiden and Zoey with two empty cups. Everyone around us falls into a fit of laughter. I see Dean look at me with either pity or empathy. 

And I run.


	3. For Family

Sam and I end up wait for Dean while he's in the principal office. No one told us why he was there. Just that he was. After half an hour Dean come out. Sam and I stand up and we all start walking home.

"What did you do to get in trouble?" I ask Dean. My need for knowledge poking where it doesn't belong. He ruffles my hair and smiles. I glance at his knuckles. I notice a slight bruising.

Dean punched someone. Hard. I wonder why. "Can you why you got yourself in trouble?" I ask.

"It was for someone worth getting in trouble for," he mumbles. I glace at Sam, but he seems more clueless then I am. Dean laughs. "You're so slow kid. Seriously, can you walk any slower?"

I laugh. "Want to find out?"

"If you go any slower then this, I'll have to carry you. I've seen turtles faster then you," he jokes. Sam and I laugh before running ahead.

Sam's faster then me so I try to catch up with him, but instead, trip on a rock. I fall on my hands and knees for the most part. "Ow," I whine. Sam turns back to see what happened. Dean and him start rushing to me. 

Sam hugs me while Dean checks me for anything serious. After seeing I've just scrapped my knees he picks me up. I hold onto him like a life line.

We get to the front door of our house when Dean sets me down. I run inside and see mom and John talking. "Hi!" I yell. I hug my mom happily and go to my room.

I continue to read Narnia which I got have way through after I left the cafeteria. The story line and characters are so good! Lucy is my favorite character. 

Dean comes in with Sam, looking confused. "Do you do anything other then read? You're a seriously weird kid," he says. 

I nod. "You're not the first to inform me of this. Now go away. I'm pretty sure I'm getting to the climax," I mumble, not looking up. I can feel Dean roll his eyes.

Sam crawls up next to me and looks at the page. "What are ya reading?" he asks. I glace at him and smile.

"The Chronicles of Narnia. It's my favorite series so far," I tell Sam. He starts to read the page with me. Well, tries to at least. "Sam. You're seven. You're not supposed to be able to read it," I laugh.

He looks a me for a moment. "Well then how come you can read it?" Sam whines.

"To put it simply, I'm a freak. I have an eidetic memory which make me smarter then the average person. Which make me different in a bad way. A freak," I say, not looking up from my book. What would be the point when I can do multiple things at once.

"You're wrong."

"Prove it."

"I can't," Sam says sadly. I nod. I know I'm right so-

"I can," Dean says. I glace up, confused. "Sam, leave for a moment." Sam does as told. "I beat up the boy who poured water on you. I punched him 5 time. Twice in the face and three times in the gut. His face is gonna be black and blue for a while. I wouldn't do that for a freak, but I would do anything for you and Sammy."


	4. Midnight

A three months later in the middle of the night, John comes in to wake up the boys. I haven't slept much recently knowing Sam and Dean would have to leave soon and if they're leaving they have to say goodbye.

John comes in and sita on the bed. He soon notices I'm awake. "Hey kiddo. What are you doing up?" John asks. 

I sigh. "I knew that you guys would have to leave soon and I wanted to be awake to say goodbye," I explain. 

John nods in understatement. "I'll tell you what. We'll try to come and visit every of you boy's birthdays and Christmas. Sound good?" I excitedly nod and hug John. I wake up the boys and tell them what's going to happen.

We all hug goodbye as they leave. I sigh at the loneliness. I get out of our- my bed and go sleep with mom. She's been sleeping in my room since the boys can while Sam, Dean, and I slept in her and dad's old bed.

She doesn't wake up as I cuddle up next to her. I feel so lost. Sort of how like I felt before they stayed with us.

The next morning, I went to school and was shove into a locker during lunch. "We heard Dean left. Guess he got tired of you. Though, who could blame him? Who would want to be the cousin of a freakshow know it all?" Jessie laughs. What if he's right? What if they asked John for them to leave.

"You're wrong," I say, not really believing myself, but damn it he's wrong. He has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was a little shorter then usual.


	5. Dean's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder Dean's birthday is January 24th, Sam's is May 2rd, and in this story Spencer's birthday is August 17th.

It's been two weeks since the boys left and it's now January 24th. Dean's birthday. I've recently started doing something a kid in my class suggested after seeing me so sad lately. Something I'm sure Dean won't approve of and Sam will ask about if he sees.

If you're confused, I've purposely injured myself. My body, my choice, right? Karen told me about it and gave me a blade. Karen never hurt me before so why would she now.

I wait outside after school for my uncle. I see John pull up with Sam and Dean and run over. I hug them all excitedly. "I missed you all," I say, getting into the car. 

As soon as I got buckled Sam started hugging me again. "I missed you a whole lot, too, Spencer," he says. Once Sam lets go he starts telling me all about what they've been doing. I just keep smiling and telling him that's it's awesome.

We all stop at a dinner and get a pie for Dean. The lady cuts it into sixths. We all take a piece and eat it. I suddenly feel something hit my head. It bounces off hits the floor. I pick it up, realizing it's a napkin.

"Where did the come from?" Dean asks, looking for the culprit. I notice it as the new kid, Kyle. I notice he's with Jessie who's quietly telling him off. Must be because Dean's here.

John stands up to go to the bathroom and leaves. Once he's gone, Dean storms over to the boys, Sam following suit. "What the hell did you throw stuff at my cousin for you shit head," he growls at Kyle.

"Dean. It's fine. Let's just go sit back down before we're kicked out," I say. Dean turns to Sam and I before he ruffles our hair. Dean smiles at us and we sit back down.

When John gets back, he pays and brings us to a park. We play a little bit of hide and seek even though we all deemed it a boring idea. I swear, the only reason I enjoyed it was because Sam and Dean are amazing.

We all get back to my house soon after play three (dreadfully boring) rounds. I reach the door and as I wait for the boys to come inside, I notice at how sadly they're looking at me. It takes me I moment to realise they can't stay.

I feel the disappointment start to swell inside me. I hug them all as I tight as I can before going inside. I'll see them again in May.


	6. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes through one of the hardest things for an older cousin to go through. Finding out your little cousin wants to die.

Sam and Dean were dropped off at my house for the weekend to celebrate Sam's birthday, even though they're a day late. Not that I mind. I'm overjoyed to have them here!  
  
My mom said I can go with them to their uncle's at the end of the summer! I'm surprised the boys want me with. I'm kind of scared their uncle Bobby won't like me.   
  
I walk across of our room and get to my drawer. I look to make sure they're still asleep before opening said drawer. I open the secret compartment to find different kinds of blades. Two box cutters, five pencil sharpener blades, an edge blade, and 12 from two of dad's older razors. I grab one of the pencil sharpener blade before closing up the compartment and shutting the drawer.  
  
I pull down my pajama pants to my knees and start to cut my thighs. Two small cuts later someone grabs my wrist. I look up to see Dean looking at me, horrified.   
  
Dean tries to take it away but I put it in my other hand. I squeeze my hand shut. "Dean. Please don't. You don't understand. I need this!" I beg. Dean doesn't stop trying though.  
  
"Spencer, please just give it to me," Dean tries, "I don't want to see you hurt." Rule number one, the Whinchesters lie.  
  
"You won't have to see. That's why I chose my thighs," I tell him.   
  
"I'll wake Sam up and have him give you the puppy dog eyes," Dean threatens. I give him my puppy eyes and a look filled with hurt. Sam's to young to be drag into this.  
  
The longer we quietly argued the more I felt like a junkie begging for a hit. Though, I kind of am.  
  
"Look. I'll throw it away," I say. I walk over to the trash before hiding it in my sleeve. I pretend to throw it away. Once I do I show him my hands to prove it.  
  
Dean sighed happily. "Good. We can talk about this in the morning. Goodnight," he says, laying back down. I nod before heading to the bathroom. Just a few more cuts couldn't hurt. I add 6 more to my collection. The bleed a little but they're shallow enough to scar in a week, two weeks top.  
  
Plus, no one will notice. Not like I matter very much anyways.


	7. The Bad Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! THIS CHAPTER HAS PEDOPHILE WHO DOES SOMETHING REALLY BAD TO SPENCER!

I'm not sure how to convince Dean I'm all right, but I'm sure I can. I'm fine. I don't need any help because I'm perfectly fine.

I sit down for some cereal with Sam and Dean. "Sorry there isn't much. I'll have to go shopping soon." I'll have to get more money soon. I feel sick by that very idea.

How in the world would I get money?! Maybe I can dog sit for Miss Angela. I'll worry about it later. 

"Well Dean! It's your birthday weekend. What do you want to do?" I ask Dean. 

Dean shrugs. "I get we could all go to the park," he says. Sam and I both nod before getting ready to go. Once were done, we wait for Dean by the door.

Once we get to the park, we all head different way. I head to the chess boards, Sam goes to the playground, and Dean goes to the pretty girl by the playground. 

Before Dean and I part ways he hugs me. "You can't hurt yourself. It's bad. When you feel like you want to, just come to me and we can talk." I nod and walk away.

I almost get to the chessboards when I see a man trying to pee outside. Maybe he doesn't know where the bathroom is and he's scared with other people around.

I walk up to the man. "Sir, are you having trouble going pee? I know it's hard to do with other people around," I tell the man. He smiles happily. 

"Yeah, I'm having a hard time. Could you help me?" the man asks. I nod, happy to help. "I need you to put my pp in your mouth suck it like a popsicle. Remember not to bite down," he says. I nod, not sure how it will help but if he says it will help.

I open my mouth to suck his pp and put it in my mouth. I suck a little and something falls on my tongue. I'm not sure what, but it's kind of bitter. I don't like it. I try to pull away, but he put his hands on the back of my head and pushes me closer.

I hate this! I feel it in my throat. I start to cry a little. "Shh, it's okay kid. Remember, you're helping me," he says and starts pulling out before pushing in again.

He does it a few times before pulling away violently. I hear him running away as someone gets closer. "Spencer, what happened?! Are you okay?" Dean asks.

I look at him, still crying. "The man needed help going pee so I said it would help him. He put his pp in my mouth and when I tried to move away he started going in and out. Drops of bitter stuff came from his pp. I didn't like it Dean. I didn't like it," I sob.

Dean hugs me close before picking me up.  I crying into his shirt as we go get Sam. "Come on, Sammy. We're leaving now," Dean says.

Sam almost complains until he sees I'm crying. He nods and walks next to us. I close my eyes and try to relax. Sam and Dean must think I'm asleep. "Dean, what happened to Spencer?" Sam asks.

Dean sighs and holds me closer. "Something very bad that you don't need to worry about," Dean replies quietly.


	8. Pleasure to Meet You

After the one guy making me touch his privates, we never told. My mom or John either wouldn't care or become murders. We all know we can't let that happen so we pretend nothing happened to me.  
  
I sigh at the thought. At least I'm getting away from here as soon as John picks me up. I mentally check once more to see if I packed everything.  
  
I see John pull up and run outside. "Uncle John, I'm ready to leave," I say running to the backseat. The boys are already at their uncle's so I'll be the last on there. Not that I mind.  
  
I soon remembered that we will be driving for a little over 20 hours. I decide it'll be worth it a take a nap. Of course, by nap, I mean about 30 minutes to an hour.

* * *

I wake up four hours later. Oops. "Hey their sleeping beauty. We're gonna be stopping in a few hours to rest up, so I don't accidentally kill us. Sound good?" John asks. I nod and pull out a book.

I'm able to read all the way through it and half way another by the time we park. John grabs us some blankets from the back.

He hands me the warmer one and a small pillow. Like the square pillow you see on sofas. I don't mind though. I wrap the blanket around me and lay my head on the pillow.

* * *

John wakes me up so I can get buckled. I sit up and yawn before buckling in. I pull out one of mom's poetry books she hardly reads. I start to read, hoping it'll make the trip feel faster.

As it turns out, reading did work because by the time I finished reading the 542 paged book, we were almost there. I would have finished sooner if it wasn't in Early Modern English. At least it wasn't Middle English or Old English. I just barely understand some Middle English and I would be completely lost if it was Old English.

After an hour of calm silence, we're finally there! I grab my bag and meet Sam and Dean outside. "Spencer! You're here! I'm so happy you're here," Sam says, hugging me.

I happily hug back. "I missed you guys, too," I tell them. An old man comes out of the house. I wave to him and he waves back kindly. "I'm Spencer! It's a pleasure to meet you," I say.

He smiles. "Hey there, Stringbean. My name is Bobby," he tells me. I nod to him as Sam drags me inside. 

Sam bring me to a bedroom upstairs with their things in it. He puts my bag by the bed. "We'll be sleeping here with Dean," Sam explains. I nod to let him know I understand.

"Sam, do you know where some books are?" I asks. He nods and bring me to a place with tons of books. I feel my eyes widen with aw. I grab one of the lower one.

I open the book and the first chapter is call "Vampires". It must be a fiction book. I start to read and after a few pages, the book is taken out of my hand. I look up and see Dean and Bobby. "Can you give it back, please?" I ask.

"Spencer, you can't just go around someone's house," Dean scolds me. I stare at him. Why can't I? I was just reading a book.

"But Dean, I already read all my books," I explain, crossing my arm and pouting a little. Dean laughs and messes up my hair.

Bobby sighs. "I'll get you a more kid friendly book," he says, getting one from the top. I smile excitedly and happily.

Bobby hands the book to me. I hugs him. "Thank you Bobby," I say. He smiles at me. 

"No problem Stringbean."


	9. Dress

When I wake up and get dressed, I puts on black legging and a loose, simple, and plain dark purple dress with long sleeves and pockets. It feels right, just as a sweater vest, under shirt, and normal pants do. I'm scared, but not enough to change clothes.

Sam come in to tell me about breakfast. "Wow Spencer! You look so pretty! Just like the girls in my class! Let's go show Dean and Bobby," Sam says, dragging me to the table to eat. 

As soon as I walk in the conversation between Dean and Bobby stops. "Morning Spencer. How did ya sleep?" Bobby asks. 

I breathe the small sigh of release. "Really good, thank you," I reply with a smile. He smiles back and gives me some eggs and bacon. I sit at the table  next to Dean and start to eat.

"I didn't know boys could wear dresses. I thought dresses were for girls" Dean says. I shrug.

"Well if girls wear pants, why can't boys wear dresses? Plus, I don't want to be a boy today, so it's okay," I explain to Dean. He nods as an "okay" of agree meant.

Bobby leaves to go to the bathroom and soon after the phone rings, which is very surprising conserving the likely to happen. "Hello? This is Spencer answering the phone," I answer.

"Hello. Is Bobby there?" the man asks. It sounds important.

"He's going to the bathroom right now, but I can try to help," I tell him. I wouldn't want him to worry if I can help. That would be mean.

"Probably not, but isn't worth a try. I'm dealing with a wendigo. I need to know more about it," the man says to me.

"Well that's silly. Wendigos aren't real. I do believe I can help you know more about them," I say, " Wendigo is a Cree Indian word. It means "evil that devours." They're known to be hundreds of years old. Each was once a man, but during a bad winter, the person finds themself starving, cut off from supplies or help -- becomes a cannibal to survive, eating other members of their tribe or camp. Cultures all over the world believe that eating human flesh gives a person certain abilities -- speed, strength, immortality. If you eat enough of it, over years, you become this less-than-human thing. The only known way to kill it in lore is with fire- Oh! Bobby's back." 

The man is quiet, before laughing. "Thanks kid. Tell Bobby that Rufus Turner called. Bye," the man, Rufus, says.

I smile, happy I could help. "Bye-bye Rufus," I tell him before hanging up. "Bobby a man named Rufus Turner call and I help him learn more about wendigos," I cheer.

Bobby looks shocked. "That's good, kiddo. I better call him tonight though," Bobby says nervously, probably not have wanted me to talk to Rufus or Rufus to talk to me. Oh well. Can't change the past.


	10. Heavy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to IndigoAngel

It was night and the idea of sleep seemed ridiculous. Bobby is no longer as uneasy as he was a few day ago when I answered the phone.  
  
I have noticed that when Bobby think we aren't listening, he plays FBI on the phone with people. Sometimes he'll tell people on the phone about mythical creatures. He has a lot of books on the them.  
  
I get out of bed to go read one of his mythical creature books. They're very fun. I try and grab a book when I hear a knock on the door. I quickly go and answer it. It's very rude to leave someone waiting.  
  
When I open the door, I see a tall, dark man. "Hello. I'm Spencer. Who are you?" I ask.  
  
The man tries to smile kindly, but is to nervous to do so. "Hey kid. I'm Rufus. Can I comes in?" he asks. I nod and smiles remembering him from the phone.  
  
 "Bobby's sleeping."  
  
Rufus smiles. "I need to talk to him so please go to bed." I nod, suddenly sleeper and head to bed.

  
×+×+×+×

  
I sigh, laying awake in bed. The world just seems so... numb and in a way I feel tired and heavy. I start at all the toys in the room. Suddenly, I hear a knock on the door before seeing Dean walk in.  
  
"Spencer. Will you get out of bed?" Dean asks. I want to say no. I don't see the point and I feel so tried despite not being able to sleep.  
  
That's unfair to them. "I'm okay. Just," wanting to die or at least stay in bed, "kind of tired. I'll be out there in a moment." I slowly get out of bed and to the kitchen for... lunch.  
  
I get to the table to see Rufus and Bobby silently arguing. I remember my mom and dad doing that when mom couldn't get out of bed on holidays and once on my birthday.  
  
Dad didn't want to hurt mom, but I feel like he didn't understand some days she just... couldn't. Though, I honestly wish I didn't.  
  
Bobby looks at me before handing me a plate. "Eat up." I look at the hotdog and beans. I don't feel hungry but I know I'll hate myself later if I don't even try.  
  
I almost go to take a bite. Instead I push the plate away and sigh. "I'm not hungry and I'm tired. Can I go sleep?" Bobby sighs, but silently gives me the okay.  
  
"Thank you," I say and go back to bed.


	11. Scar Me Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! Thank you to Kaya McKay for that ideas that will probably help until the end of this book!

Four words. Four simple words with such a strong meaning. Four words hitting his cousin like a brick. "I want to die."  
  
Spencer covers his mouth, in shock by what he just admitted. He wants to run or pretend he was joking. "Dean, just, pretend I didn't say that," Spencer mumbles.  
  
"N-no! I can't! You're to important to just forget about," Dean insists. Spencer snorts and rolls his eyes. "Why is that so hard to understand?!"  
  
"How can you even love me when I don't even love me?" Spencer snaps. "I'm so messed up, I didn't even keep my promise to you!"  
  
Dean's face pales. "Let me see your arms. Now," he demands, grabbing Spencer's wrists. Spencer tries to move away. Before he can, Dean pulls up his sleeves, revealing a mixture of scars, white lines, and ones that are very recent.  
  
Spencer pushes Dean away. "Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted? I'm going to be eight and heading home soon, so no need to freak out."  
  
"Spencer, talk to me," Dean begs.  
  
"I'm tired. I'm going to take a nap," Spencer mumbles, walking away from Dean.  
  
+×+×+×+  
  
Spencer pretends to sleep as someone, most likely Dean, searches for something. Why? What could Dean need? Then it hits him. _His blades._  
  
He feels comfort that Dean couldn't find all of them and fear knowing he'll at least find some. Spencer wants to stop him from looking, but knows it'll make thing worse.  
  
The sinking feeling comes in when he knows Dean found one and leave. Spencer sits up and tries to get it back. It's the box cutter blade. "Dean, that's not yours. Give it back,"  
  
Dean jumps slightly. "Spencer, you can't do this to yourself and I won't stand by and let you," Dean hisses before leaving the room. Spencer follows, whispering and begging for the blade back.  
  
Dean throws it out into the junkyard. Spencer fills with anger and frustration. "Why would you do that?! That was mine," he yells.  
  
Dean looks down at him with a stone cold face. "I don't give a fuck."  
  
Spencer takes a deep breath. "Fine," he says coldly, walking 'away'. Spencer hides in the junkyard, waiting for Dean to leave.   
  
Dean sighs sadly before going inside.   
  
Spencer quickly starts to search for his blade. Logically, he knows he would have probably lost it later or thrown it away himself, but he felt like something was being stolen away from him.  
  
"What 're you doing, boy?" Spencer jumps and turns to look at Bobby.   
  
"I thought I lost something," Spencer explains with a smile that would fool anyone that didn't know him extremely well.  
  
"What did ya lose?" Bobby asks, "I can help ya find it."  
  
Spencer shakes his head. "It's probably somewhere in my room. I'll go check again."  
  
Bobby nods, grinning at him. "Guess we should go inside then, yeah?" Spencer nods, walking inside with Bobby.   
  
Sam looks up from his book, much easier than the Narnia books Spencer gave him, but advanced for a kid their age.   
  
"Hey Dean wants to talk with you," Sam says to Spencer.  
  
Spencer pauses for a moment before clenching his fists. "Yeah, well, I don't want to talk him," Spencer hisses, walking to his room.


	12. No More Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! THIS TALKS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN CHAPTER 7!

The bleeding from his thigh wouldn't stop. Usually it stopped after about 20 seconds, though, Spencer was sure that if he got toilet paper and put pressure on the cut, it would be fine. He starts to put on a large shirt to get some tissue until Sam walks in.  
  
Sam looks at Spencer a bit before seeing the blood dripping down his leg. Sam stares for a moment before yelling downstairs. "Bobby, we need band-aids! Spencer's hurt," he before Spencer can stop him.  
  
Bobby and Dean soon come rushing in, Bobby with band-aids in hand. "Where are you bleeding?" he asks Spencer.  
  
Spencer slowly and anxiously lifts up his large shirt. Although he usually cuts his arms, he has a few scars on his thighs.  
  
"Balls. What the hell happened here?" Bobby asks, putting a band-aid over Spencer's cut. Spencer shrugs, hoping Bobby would let it go.  
  
Dean realizes that someone, in this case Bobby, has to know. "Spencer hurts himself," Dean blurts out. Bobby looks shocked while Spencer looks betrayed.  
  
Bobby looks at Spencer with sympathy. "Spencer, kid, you can't and shouldn't do that. You could end up in the hospital," Bobby explains to him.  
  
Spencer, feeling self conscious, awkwardly shrugs. "I'll be fine, but if I did end up in the hospital, I don't think I would care. I guess I would feel bad about the medical bills though," he rambles. He stops, realizing they were all staring at him.  
  
Sam, not quite understanding much of what's going on, knows Spencer needs a hug. That hug was all it took to create a flood of tears. Spencer hugs him back tightly, sobbing into Sam's shirt.  
  
"I-I'm just so tired of everything," Spencer cries, his tears soaking Sam's shirt. Sam rubs Spencer's back, hoping it will help.  
  
Bobby sighs while rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Is there anything else I should or need to know?" Bobby asks, although somewhat scared to do so.  
  
Spencer almost wants to deny everything, but he knows it's far to late for that. "A while ago, a man that the park needed help going potty, so I offered to help. He told me to put his peepee in my mouth and suck it like a popsicle so I did. Then something tasted gross so I tried to move away, but than he forced me to put more in my mouth. Then his moved it in and out. It hurt my throat. I really wanted him to stop, than Dean saved me," Spencer tells Bobby, feeling gross and uncomfortable even though he was starting to stop crying.  
  
Bobby takes a deep breath to stop himself from yelling or breaking some out of anger, disgusted by what that monster of a man did to Spencer.  "I need to call John. Dean, look as hard as you can for things Spencer can hurt himself with, than flush them down the toilet," Bobby orders, leaving the room. Dean gets to work immediately.  
  
Bobby goes downstairs and heads over to his phone. He picks up the phone and dials the number for John's motel room that's he's at for the next few days. "Who's this," John's voice asks over the phone speaker.  
  
"It Bobby. Something... very, very bad has happened with Spencer," Bobby takes a deep breath before continuing, "Damn, I'm not even sure where to start."  
  
"Damn it Bobby, just tell me what the hell he told you," John practically growls, becoming impatient.  
  
"The kid's been hurt himself. It really bad as far as I can tell. He has scars all over his upper legs and, as far as I can tell, there's some on his arms, too. That's not even where this shit ends. Apparently there was a pedo at a park a while back that molested Spencer," Bobby says, heavy hearted.  
  
The phone is silent for a moment. "I'll kill my monster here and be right there. I'm going to need Spencer to tell me what the piece of shit looks like so I can cut his dick off at the very least," John says, pissed off as hell.  
  
"Get here soon. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help get this ass," Bobby insists, never wanting to kill a 'normal' man more.


	13. LATE (A/N)

_**Hey guys! I'm almost done with the newest chapter, I'm just having problems making sure there's nothing that might contradict earlier chapters. It should come out within the next week if not today. I'm trying to make this chapter longer than I usually do. Also, I was thinking about doing a few things that take place when Spencer first starts at the BAU. Only if you guys think it's a good idea though. If I were to do that, these chapters will most likely come out slower and the other book (if you guys want it) will have VERY RARE updates until this one is done. The only reason I'm even suggesting it now is because I have a few ideas for things to do for it.** _


	14. School's Starting Soon

Spencer took a deep breath. So much has happened at Bobby's house, he wasn't sure about going home. Though, it was much too late to ask to stay. Especially since John had just pulled up to his house. "I know school starts soon, but I want to stay with you,” Spencer says sadly.

Being 8 hasn't changed anything and he isn't sure why he expected it to. He doesn't feel better all of a sudden and school is the worst emotionally for him. He's so scared of losing the little progress he made over the summer if he goes back to school in a week.

It also doesn't help that he's skipping another year. “Hey buddy. Just remember, a set back doesn't undo all your progress,” John says with a kind smile.

Spencer gives him a small, slightly awkward nod. He grabs his things and goes inside. This year  _ had _ to be better. He would be sure of it.

Spencer went to his room and put his bags away. Dean had taken all but one of his blades away and the one he had forgotten is pretty dull so he's been forcefully clean for a week. This has made a large part of him not want to cut. Whether it's being clean or feeling like he's in control, he's not sure why. Though, he believes it's a mixture of both. 

He goes to check his mom, finding her quite thin, but other than that, she seems okay. He goes to get some soup for her. He makes her Campbell's Chicken with Rice. They often buy soup so they don't have to worry too much about it getting old.

His dad didn't have any debts because of his inheritance of a small fortune plus he worked so all his money pays for most of their bills. They were using half his mom’s disability checks to pay for necessities while putting the other half in the bank. At least it started that way. Now it isn’t much of a fifty fifty as a thirty-five sixty-five because of how much he’s learned to some things like sewing and couponing. At one point Spencer decided to learn how to knit and sew parts of his old clothes together. Of course, it was much easier to do with dress shirts than with his vests (which weren't as important).

His mom never wants new clothes and due to his expensive taste, Spencer couldn't get clothes he wants except a Good Will where he gave old clothes that still looked nice when he grew out of them. The only clothes he’s saved up for were his four dresses.

Spencer finishes making the soup before putting it on a tray for his mom. He gets her a glass of water and her medication as well. “Mom, I’m back from my trip,” Spencer says softly, walking into her room with the tray.

Diana looks up at Spencer and smiles. “Hey Sweetie. How was your trip?” she asks. He smiles happily and sets her tray on her bedside table. Spencer climbs into her bed and sits next to her. He gives her a hug, not realizing until now how much he missed her.

“Mom, it was so great! Bobby, that’s Sam and Dean’s uncle, had so many interesting books! They were mostly about monsters but some of them were about things like Greek and Norse mythology,” Spencer tells his mom, not wanting her to know about the less happy things.

Diana smiles sweetly at her son. “That sounds absolutely magical. Now let’s eat our soup,” Diana says pulling her food over to them. She pulls out a spoon for Spencer from her bedside table. Spencer usually shares food with his mom, though, never due to his own planning. When Diana isn’t having an episode, she wants to make sure Spencer is okay, even if that means give him some of her food because if she had a say in the matter she would give him the entire world.

“Are you excited for school to start? I want to be sure you're okay with going into sixth grade instead of skipping to seventh,” Diana says, side hugging Spencer.

Spencer nods, hugging her back. “Yeah. I think I would bullied,” worse,“if I skip another grade,” he says.

Diana smiles and kisses his forehead. “How could anyone hurt my sweet, handsome, smart boy?”

Spencer almost wants to tell her that they already do. Instead, he opts to be positive. “I'm not sure, but I know this year's going to be better.”

Little did he know how right, yet wrong he would be. Joy was coming to him in a way he would’ve never expected.


End file.
